a new promise to myself

well, i said it before, and i will say it again (and this time i fucking mean it)

i am going to be far more consistent with this stupid blog (not like anyone is reading it) mostly because i think it is the best thing for me as far as therapy goes (or at least that's what my therapist said)

i have quite a lot on my plate. mostly dealing with the stresses of not finding a job.

i have no idea why no one has hired me, even though i have been on a few interviews. (i know, keep trying, it's practice, it'll come eventually) but i don't have until eventually. i need money fucking now.

and i keep being hassled by my mom for be too picky for finding a job. and by picky, she means not working at McDonald's or Wal-Mart.

there is no way in Hell i am ever working at either of those place. McDonald's might as well be vegan Hell and Wal-Mart is definitely Hell.

i try to explain to my mom that it doesn't matter that i don't work with food at McDonald's, it still is the number one buyer of factory farm meat, which i am totally against. i cannot accept money from such a company. it's like if my mom, the Catholic, was only able to make money if she was the flower arranger at The Church of Satan, during their Black Masses.

and Wal-Mart is notorious for taking advantage of illegal aliens, who's plea i have grown very attached to recently, so it is again like my mom, a dog lover, was secretary for a practice that beat dogs (or something like that...)

well, i have applied at a few local theatres and a supermarket or two, so... hopefully i can get hired.

but i am also concerned about my past, and my inability to remember it, because i think for the most part, i have blocked it out because of my enormous amount of anger towards my dad... which i will write about later. i am a tad tired now, and really the stories that i do have deserve their own blog. and i need to ponder/meditate about my past to see if i can uncover my extreme hate and sorrow i have for it.

so, nighty night world (or me, and the two other people who are probably going to read this)

c'ya later space cowboy